When October Goes
by E. Wallace
Summary: October is a month of memories for Jean-Luc.


This has been floating in the back of my mind for quite a while, and it wrote itself in just over two hours when I actually sat down to do it.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Star Trek, woo hoo. My imagination is my own since no one else is foolish enough to claim it.

When October Goes  
By E. Wallace  
2000

He had first shown her Labarre in October.

Ostensibly, he had been showing it to Jack and Walker, too, but hers was the only opinion that mattered.

oxo

Beverly Howard - all too soon to be Crusher - looked as though she was part of the landscape. Her blue eyes mirrored the cloudless sky, and her auburn hair blended with the red-gold turning leaves.

She came under protest; her claims of last minute details for the wedding to take place the following weekend falling on unconcerned ears. The men had whisked her away for two days of rest before plunging headlong into married life with Jack.

They toured the village and the vineyard, Jean-Luc and Walker leading the way as Beverly and Jack followed, hand in hand. He had shown them all the points of interest, but they spent the longest times in places he knew she would particularly enjoy.

Jean-Luc delighted in watching her face as she experienced her very first snow. Delicate flakes clung to her lashes and covered her hair in lace, but she was disappointed when the first flurries quickly melted. When Jack and Walker had teased her about her child-like awe, she blithely ignored them as she tried to catch the drifting flakes on her tongue like the children in the school yard.

The next morning, he awakened before dawn to the muffled cocoon that only a heavy snowfall creates. Tying his robe, he went into the main room of the suite they all shared to stoke the fire. A few minutes later he turned at the sound of a door opening. Beverly padded quietly in to warm her hands at the now blazing fire, murmuring that Jack was still sleeping. When she commented on the unusual stillness, he smiled mysteriously. Quietly, he told her to get dressed - and not to look out the window.

He made sure she wore her boots, heavy coat, scarf and gloves, but she point blank refused to wear a hat. They crept down the stairs of the small hotel, and when they reached the lobby, he told her to close her eyes. She did not hesitate, trusting him completely.

Taking her hands, he led her out into the cold, still morning. He turned her just so then whispered, "Open your eyes." He cared nothing for the scenery, only for the radiant face bathed in the early dawn light as she gasped in wonder at the sunrise peeking over the glittering, snow blanketed hills beyond the village.

Hours later, they lay in wait for Jack and Walker to emerge from the hotel, pouncing on them with a barrage of snowballs and a challenge of war. It was an unfair fight because Beverly and Jean-Luc had a stockpile of ammunition while the two men were forced to make theirs on the run.

Triumphant and breathless, Beverly thanked Jack and Walker for 'kidnapping' her to France. Jean-Luc had earned a kiss on the cheek along with her thanks for sharing his childhood home and for showing her snow.

oxo

Years later, after the crash of the Enterprise D and the inquest into the incident, Jean-Luc and Beverly spent their entire month's leave in his family home. It was October and the feeling of closure was everywhere.

Jean-Luc was there to say his final goodbyes to the nephew he cherished and the brother he had just begun to understand. He spent many hours with Marie, learning too late what he had missed by staying away so long.

The loss of his command weighed heavily on his shoulders as well, and the changing seasons suited his mood. Beverly was the only bright spot in those dark days as her tender warmth soothed his torment. She understood all too well for she was an expert on the loss of people, places and things - and in surviving those losses.

One night they kissed under a starry sky and knew their time had come at last. They spent their first morning as lovers in bed watching snow drift past the window and sharing whispered remembrances of a dawn long ago.

oxo

They returned the following October to spend their honeymoon at the vineyard.

oxo

Jean-Luc finally accepted the long proposed Admiralty on Earth when Beverly was once again offered a position at Starfleet Medical. Private time was scarce between her patients and her research while he was busy with meetings and 'babysitting brash young captains like Will Riker' as he phrased it.

No matter what, they spent every October in Labarre. Starfleet was forgotten while they created their own world anew each year as the land was preparing for a winter's sleep.

They spent seven Octobers together.

oxo

The accident was no one's fault... accidents rarely are. It was small comfort to know that the one that took Beverly from him occurred in her lab as she did the work she loved.

It happened in July, but there could never be enough time to prepare him for that first October alone.

oxo

Beverly had been gone three Octobers now. That was how Jean-Luc counted them, not in years, but in Octobers.

This day, as was his new habit, he retraced one of their favorite walks, ending up in front of the hotel where they had stayed that very first October. He thought of Jack and Walker, his best friends... and Beverly, the only woman he had ever truly loved.

Shivering from cold and memories, he turned to make his way home. The temperature had dropped steadily all morning and the scent of snow hung in the air.

These were the days Beverly had loved best in France, just on the cusp of fall turning into winter.

He longed to see her... dancing on the path ahead of him, just out of reach, her laughter carried away on the brisk wind... eyes sparkling with mischief... her hair dotted with the first snow of the season.

He missed her every day, but this was when it hurt most of all... in Labarre, in October.

The end

When October Goes  
Lyrics by Johnny Mercer

And when October goes  
The snow begins to fly  
Above the smoky roofs  
I watch the planes go by

The children running home  
beneath a twilight sky  
Oh for the fun of them  
When I was one of them

And when October goes  
The same old dream appears  
And you are in my arms  
To share the happy years

I turn my head away  
To hide the helpless tears  
Oh how I hate to see October go  
I should be over it now  
I know

It doesn't matter much  
How old I grow  
I hate to see October go


End file.
